Let’s talk about that moment when your future boss asks, “What salary are you looking for?” and your brain immediately goes blank while your palms turn into small lakes. We’ve all been there, saying something like “I’m flexible” while simultaneously flushing thousands of dollars down the corporate toilet.
Last year, my coaching client Jessica was interviewing for a senior marketing position. When asked about salary expectations, she blurted out “$85,000” because it felt “safe.” The recruiter immediately said, “That works for our budget.” Jessica was thrilled—until she learned from a colleague that the company’s budget was actually $115,000 for the role. That’s $30,000 she’ll never get back.
The problem isn’t that negotiating is hard—it’s that most of us are negotiating blind. Here’s how to flip the script:
Do your homework (but not on Glassdoor alone) Salary transparency websites are starting points, not gospel. When I was job hunting, I found a $40K difference between Glassdoor’s estimate and what three actual humans in similar roles told me they made. Talk to people in your network, use multiple salary sites, and check company review platforms like Blind where employees often share compensation details anonymously.
Let them go first (despite what your uncle told you) When they ask for your number, try: “I’m excited about this role and confident I can add value. I’d love to hear what you’ve budgeted for this position so I can make sure we’re in the same ballpark.” It works about 70% of the time, and now they’ve anchored first—not you.
The magic of silence After they make an offer, say “Thank you for that offer” and then… just stop talking. Count to ten in your head. The silence feels excruciating, but in that awkward pause, hiring managers often sweeten the deal unprompted. I’ve seen this work even in video interviews where the recruiter fills the silence with “Of course, there’s some flexibility there.”
Negotiate the package, not just salary My friend Marcus couldn’t get more base pay, so he negotiated an extra week of vacation, remote work Fridays, and a professional development budget. A year later, those “little things” had saved him thousands in childcare costs and positioned him for a promotion.
The exact phrase to use when you counter “I’m excited about the role and would like to make this work. Based on my experience and the market research I’ve done, I was hoping for something closer to [X]. Is there room to bridge that gap?” This combination of enthusiasm, justification, and open-ended questioning works wonders.
Remember: companies expect negotiation. That initial offer has wiggle room built in. Not negotiating isn’t being polite—it’s leaving money that was already allocated for you sitting on the table.