The Hidden Cost of Surface Acting: Why Authentic Leadership Isn't Optional Anymore

I’ll never forget the day I collapsed during that investor meeting. One moment I was delivering a confident presentation about our explosive growth—the picture of executive poise—and the next, I was waking up in a hospital room, hooked up to monitors, facing the reality that I’d been faking it for far too long.

That was my wake-up call. But I was lucky. Most leaders don’t get such a clear signal that something’s catastrophically wrong. They just keep putting on the mask, day after day, until the damage is irreversible.

Now, in late 2025, we’re witnessing what I call “The Great Authenticity Reckoning.” Research published just last month in Harvard Business Review confirms what many of us have learned the hard way: leaders who engage in what psychologists call “surface acting”—faking emotions they don’t actually feel—experience burnout at three times the rate of those who lead authentically.

The numbers are staggering. According to Gallup’s 2025 workplace research, 52-58% of leaders report experiencing burnout, compared to 48% of all employees. And McKinsey’s latest study reveals that 76% of leaders feel constant pressure to appear confident even when they’re genuinely uncertain.

We’ve created a leadership culture that’s literally making us sick.

The Science of Surface Acting

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Let me explain what’s happening at a neurological level, because understanding this changed everything for me.

Surface acting is the psychological term for displaying emotions you don’t actually feel. It’s smiling through gritted teeth during a difficult conversation. It’s projecting confidence when you’re terrified about your company’s future. It’s maintaining that “everything is fine” facade while you’re drowning internally.

Deep acting, by contrast, is when you genuinely align your emotions with the situation. It’s processing your fear about uncertainty, finding genuine reasons for optimism, and then expressing confidence from an authentic place. The difference seems subtle, but the impact on your wellbeing is profound.

Research from the Center for Creative Leadership reinforces Maya Angelou’s timeless wisdom: “People will never forget how you made them feel.” And here’s the brutal truth—when you’re surface acting, your team can feel the inauthenticity, even if they can’t articulate it.

Your emotions leak through microexpressions, tone of voice, and behavioral inconsistencies. The cognitive load of maintaining this performance doesn’t just exhaust you—it erodes trust with your team.

The Real Cost of Faking It

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The traditional leadership playbook told us to “fake it till you make it.” Project unwavering confidence. Never let them see you sweat. Show strength at all times.

That playbook is obsolete. Worse, it’s actively harmful.

Psychology Today’s research on burnout reveals that emotional exhaustion doesn’t stem from working long hours or juggling multiple responsibilities. It occurs when tasks fundamentally conflict with your sense of self—when you’re constantly pretending to be someone you’re not.

I learned this the hard way. During my years as CMO, I believed that admitting uncertainty was weakness. That showing vulnerability would undermine my authority. That maintaining the executive mask was simply part of the job description.

So I surface acted my way through every challenge. Budget cuts? Smiled and said we’d “make it work.” Team conflicts I didn’t know how to resolve? Projected absolute confidence in my approach. Personal struggles affecting my performance? Absolutely never mentioned those.

The result? Chronic stress, insomnia, deteriorating health, and eventually, that hospital bed.

What I didn’t understand then—but see clearly now—is that this approach doesn’t just harm the leader. It cascades through the entire organization. Gallup’s research demonstrates that leader wellbeing directly predicts team wellbeing. When you’re burning out behind a facade of confidence, your team absorbs that dysfunction.

Why 2025 is Different

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Something fundamental has shifted in the past year. Three converging forces are making authentic leadership not just beneficial, but essential:

First, the remote work revolution has made surface acting unsustainable. When you’re on video calls 6-8 hours daily, the cognitive load of maintaining an emotional performance becomes untenable. The boundaries between work and home have blurred to the point where you can’t simply “put on the work mask” for eight hours.

Second, Gen Z’s entrance into management ranks is changing cultural expectations. This generation demands vulnerability and authenticity from their leaders. They’ve watched previous generations sacrifice their wellbeing for career advancement and decided that trade-off isn’t acceptable. Deloitte’s 2025 research shows organizations with authentic leadership cultures experience 31% lower turnover—a statistic that’s impossible to ignore in a tight talent market.

Third, the performance data is now undeniable. McKinsey’s research demonstrates that authentic leaders achieve 23% higher team performance and organizations investing in leader wellbeing see a 4:1 return on investment. When authenticity delivers measurable business results, it transforms from a “soft skill” into a strategic imperative.

The Path Forward: From Surface to Substance

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So how do we break the surface acting cycle? Based on my work with over 7,000 leaders since my transformation, here’s what actually works:

Start with self-awareness. You can’t change a pattern you don’t recognize. Begin tracking when you’re surface acting versus being genuinely present. I recommend a simple end-of-day practice: identify three moments where you felt aligned with your authentic self, and three where you were performing.

The pattern that emerges will be revealing.

Develop emotional regulation skills, not emotional suppression. There’s a critical difference. Regulation means processing your emotions productively before responding. Suppression means pretending they don’t exist. One leads to resilience; the other leads to my hospital room.

Investment in practices like executive coaching, meditation, or therapy isn’t indulgent—it’s essential infrastructure for sustainable leadership. The leaders I work with who prioritize emotional regulation consistently outperform those who don’t.

Practice strategic vulnerability. This doesn’t mean oversharing or emotional dumping on your team. It means appropriately acknowledging uncertainty, admitting when you don’t have all the answers, and modeling the behavior you want to see.

When I finally started saying things like “I’m not certain about the best approach here, but here’s my thinking” or “This situation is challenging and I’m working through my concerns,” something remarkable happened. My team didn’t lose confidence—they became more engaged. They started contributing ideas more freely. They trusted me more, not less.

Redefine leadership strength. The strongest leaders I know aren’t those who never falter. They’re those who acknowledge challenges, process emotions productively, and make wise decisions from a place of genuine clarity rather than performed confidence.

This aligns with research from Deloitte showing that wellbeing is now considered a core leadership competency, not a personal indulgence.

Build systems that support authenticity. Individual change is crucial, but it’s not sufficient. Organizations need to create structures that enable authentic leadership: realistic workloads, boundaries around communication hours, leadership development focused on emotional intelligence, and metrics that value wellbeing alongside performance.

The companies getting this right are seeing remarkable results. Organizations implementing mandatory wellbeing days for leadership teams, normalizing conversations about mental health, and measuring leader wellbeing as rigorously as financial performance are retaining talent and outperforming competitors.

The Question Isn’t Whether, But How Fast

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Here’s what I tell every executive I coach: The shift toward authentic leadership isn’t a trend you can wait out. It’s a fundamental transformation in how effective leadership operates.

You have two choices. You can continue surface acting—maintaining that performance of unwavering confidence while burning out behind the scenes. That path leads to declining performance, health problems, and eventual crisis.

Or you can do the harder, braver work of leading authentically. Processing your actual emotions. Setting genuine boundaries. Modeling the vulnerable, sustainable leadership your organization desperately needs.

The irony is that what feels like the vulnerable path—authenticity—is actually the most sustainable approach to long-term leadership effectiveness.

I learned this in a hospital room. But you don’t have to wait for a crisis to make a different choice.

The mask you’re wearing to protect your leadership authority? It’s the very thing undermining it.

References

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• Hochschild, A. R. (2012). The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling. University of California Press.
• Harvard Business Review. (2025, October). “How ‘Surface Acting’ Drains Leaders—and How to Break the Cycle.”
• Gallup. (2025). State of the Global Workplace Report 2025.
• McKinsey & Company. (2025). Leadership in the Age of Authenticity.
• Deloitte Insights. (2025). Global Human Capital Trends: The Rise of Authentic Leadership.
• Psychology Today. “Understanding Burnout: When Work Conflicts with Self.” Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/burnout
• Center for Creative Leadership. (2023). “Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Effectiveness.” Retrieved from https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/emotional-intelligence-and-leadership-effectiveness/