Let me tell you about the most awkward 19 seconds of my professional life that made me an extra $37,000.
After the hiring manager stated their offer, I didn’t say a word. I smiled slightly, maintained eye contact, and let the silence grow. It felt like an eternity. My palms were sweaty. I was counting Mississippi-style in my head to keep from breaking.
Then it happened. “You know, we might have some flexibility on that number,” he said, proceeding to offer 17% more. By the end of our conversation, I’d secured a 40% increase over the initial offer.
This technique—strategic silence—is just one psychological principle that can transform your salary negotiations. Here are three more that most people miss:
1. Anchoring works both ways Most candidates let the employer set the first anchor with their initial offer. Flip the script. When asked about salary expectations, confidently state a specific, well-researched number at the upper end of your target range.
Notice I said specific—$94,700 feels more thoroughly researched than $95,000 and makes your counterpart less likely to negotiate aggressively.
2. The contrast principle My friend Jenny recently negotiated an extra week of vacation by first asking for flexible Fridays year-round, then “compromising” down to the extra week. The first request made the second seem reasonable by comparison, even though the week was what she wanted all along.
3. Emphasizing loss, not gain Instead of focusing on what you want, highlight what the company stands to lose without you. “I understand budget constraints, but considering the revenue growth I’ve demonstrated in my previous role, not having someone with my specific experience in programmatic advertising might cost more in missed opportunities.”
This triggers loss aversion—our psychological tendency to prefer avoiding losses over acquiring equivalent gains.
What’s fascinating is that none of these approaches involve being aggressive or confrontational. They simply work with natural human psychology rather than against it.
My favorite resource for deeper learning is “Never Split the Difference” by former FBI negotiator Chris Voss. His techniques on calibrated questions changed my approach entirely.
What’s the most effective negotiation technique you’ve used? Share below—I’m always looking to expand my toolkit!